Boy Will It Get Better

[Disclaimer: Been preparing this bit for some time now. At first I was really hesitant—not sure if it was artificial or, ‘God’ forbid, cheesy—but I felt a sincere sense of urgency. Something like this is important beyond my humble act writing of it.]

I’m gay and have never been teased, bullied, or harassed about the fact. Sometimes I wonder if this means I don’t really have any authority in discussing ‘queer’ issues. And, yes, I won’t lie, I feel somewhat left out. Like I haven’t had the proper ‘experience’ to do so, whatever that would be. I don’t know what to call it and much less feel like making up excuses. So the only reason, really, why I should even care to write something about these, um, ‘issues’ is simply my desire—something vital, fundamental, and, I feel, necessary—for me, personally—to be optimistic for the sake of the many others who may be in less fortunate positions.

It seems that, recently, media related to gay suicides has become popular. Finally, I say. At last there is some form of public recognition regarding the absolute injustice (yes, I invoke the idea of justice) concerning a denial of the absolute right of any living being (and I do not limit this to humans at all) to live their lives undisturbed—a sense of “live and let live,” I guess one could say, as such is, in fact, the sole non-theistic purpose of a life form. And although this is not a piece about religion, it seems naïve at best (and dangerously ignorant at worst) to set aside the role of religion in the preservation and dissemination of intolerance through human culture (society &c.), both temporally and spatially. With this in mind I offer one single comment that, of all people, John Irving noted at a recent reading: “Freedom of religion is a two-way street. You’re free to practice the religion of your choice. But we’re also free from you practicing your religion on us.” And I shall leave it at that.

Concerning purpose: I write this partly inspired by unapologetic anger, undeniably. I am angry that people like me should be treated differently for a quality that is perfectly natural—more natural, I’d argue, than the artificial ideological mindset that sex, gender, and sexuality are rigidly-defined structures. If religion is a vehicle for intolerance, then this mindset is the basis for it, that which allows the abuse to flourish unrestrained. And, from an activist stance, it is this basis that must be demolished by an unwavering spirit of pride and, again, justice. It is not at all a matter of morality and—to invoke the surreal—ethics. Much beyond either of these qualities, the issues of sexuality and gender are a matter of essential Nature, a notion transcending hedonism, biology, survival and procreation, or even psychology. Hence why We are angry and, no question, hostile (because We must be, lest Our voices drown in a sea of shit spewed from the diarrhoeic mouths of Hatred).

When I came out, by far the most common questions following this process of self-liberation were: 1.) How do you know? 2.) Since when? and 3.) Who are you having hot, sloppy, steamy gay sex with that I’m not aware? The last one is easy enough: None of your business, or, if you’re up for it, the adorable neighbor; he’s a beast [grunt]. The fist two are trickier.

For (1), the answer is apparent: We just do. And questioning this answer is one of the most insulting acts someone could ever inflict upon another in the process of self-acceptance and self-realization. Often the idea that “it’s just a phase” manifests itself like a pesky, pervy chihuahua. My advice, in that case, is to ignore it. It’ll leave and go hump a pole eventually.

I’d say the answer to (2) is rather universal: Since always. The true issue is Our acceptance of the fact, something which allows Us to come out in the first place. Sadly, although the self’s acceptance of its own realities is trivial, social pressure often prevents the manifestation of the truth beyond it, to the public. A cage forms around the self, a truly restraining feeling, like an unrelenting pressure on the heart and constant tied innards, a confused brain that can barely make sense of something that is, yes, no question, absolutely true. It’s torture. And it’s vital that this be overcome.

So no shit We’re at a crisis. How are We to come to a complete acceptance of Ourselves when there are so many external conflicting social signs regarding the ‘immoralities of homosexuality’ or ‘the unnatural homosexual tendencies of modern youth’? It’s a question of semiology: We must understand that these signifiers of abnormality are subject to a defective and depressingly outdated social canon, a normative reality that simply must be breached for there to be any glimmer of hope for equality in the coming generations of all people. We must understand that there exists no such classifiable objectivity concerning ‘social differences’ (and this I apply in the realms of race, class, and feminist issues as well), but rather that big-t Truth exists as a spectrum composed of multidimensional snippets of individual small-t truths.

The truths of our wonderfully fabulous, butch, flaming, queer selves are those responsibilities We each decide to take as a fundamental call to arms for a more accepting norm, a revolution for queer rights. And I mean this as radically as it may come through. There is no time for fun and games. This is the next stage in social equality, and We must not let the opportunities We are given to publicize and disperse this message be taken for granted. I, for one, am, quite frankly, pissed enough. I love too many people (LGBT or otherwise) to tolerate it any longer.

And the way to go about doing this—spreading the message, if you will—is precisely by going against the grain: Accept no classification, stand up for who you are, be proud, and, above all else, be clearly happy for it.